So just in case you didn’t already have evidence that I’m completely off my trolley, here’s some more. Was chatting with my smallgroup about Monday night’s beta carotene and coleslaw incident.
It all started when I came home from work, and my Mum said ‘Oh, we’re having salmon and salad for tea, would you like some?’ I was all ‘yeah, that would be lovely, thanks!’
But for some weird and unknown reason she decided to put coleslaw on my plate. Wretching and trying not to run away screaming…I grabbed the plate and tried to tip the coleslaw and anything on the plate that the coleslaw had infected with its coleslawyness (totally a word btw!) I suddenly realised I was left holding a fork covered in coleslaw. Hence the shriek of ‘Ewwwwww!!!!!!’ and the launch of said fork across the room.
A bit OTT? Yup, I know. But when it comes to all things relating to my emetophobia, rational is not a word to describe my actions. Reading this some time last year was scarily liking looking at my own reflection in a mirror.
It made me take pause to reflect on some of my weird habits which are perhaps either subconsciously or consciously emetophobia-related.
1. Fear of Coleslaw and most things based in Mayonnaise (egg mayonnaise and tuna mayonnaise especially)… I can’t look at it, and I struggle to watch anyone eat it, and I certainly cannot clean any kitchenware that has contained such things.
2. Even though I’ve never been travel sick on a plane I take travel sickness tablets, just in case.
3. I never get a night bus in case a drunken person gets on and well, you know….
4. I never eat food past it’s sell by date or if it’s been open longer than the time allowed by the ‘please consume x days after opening’ (I label food with the date I open it for this reason).
5. If I’ve ever eaten food you’ve prepared, feel privileged. Between my obsessing over sell by dates, various other food hygiene stuff and various food allergies/intolerances I find it difficult to eat food I’ve not had full control in preparing and checking.
6. I will never go on a ferry or boat on open water unless it’s really calm and the journey is extremely short. It took a lot of convincing from my Mum and various ferry terminal staff to get on the Staten Island Ferry.
7. If I remotely think someone is looking like they might, or I hear or see someone…you know….my only goal is to run until I can’t hear or see anything. Possibly accompanied by some screaming.
8. If that person is me, I’ll be freaking out. Hyperventilating. Crying. Praying. Climbing the walls. Fainting. Doing anything and everything I can think of to try and prevent the inevitable from happening.
9. If a new film comes out and I’m going to see it, I try and track down people who’ve seen it before me to find out if there are any scenes I won’t be able to face watching.
10. Just in case I need to run out the cinema because an unexpected scene comes up, I will want to sit in the aisle seat for a quick and easy getaway. Like when I went to see Apollo 13, and didn’t come back into the cinema for about 30 mins.
11. I will never, ever eat so much that I feel full, because the feeling of nausea terrifies me.
12. I can’t stand being a carnivals because of all the rides that make people feel sick.
13. I won’t undergo medical treatments that have a likelihood of having being sick as a side effect.
14. I carry around antibacterial gel and if I have to use a public bathroom I often only touch the door handle with the sleeve of what I’m wearing so I don’t ‘catch’ any nasty bugs.
15. Waiting rooms in hospitals or GP surgeries are difficult for me as I’m terrified of someone coming in with a bug or me catching a bug from someone in the waiting room.
16. If I’m travelling somewhere, I’ll be the one to drive. But sometimes I have to close my eyes if I see a car pulled over…just in case I see something I don’t want to see.
17. I won’t ever ride in a coach for the same reason I won’t go on a ferry.
18. I have been known to move out the house if anyone has a stomach bug of any kind, and open lots of windows, use lots of bleach etc. You just can’t be too careful!
My family and close friends are perfectly used to my strange emetophobic habits. None of my friends (even when ill or drunk) have ever ….. in front of me for which I’m very appreciative. They’ve also totally helped me out countless times in helping me avoid or cope with unexpected ‘incidents’ – they are so very understanding!
So there you have it. More insight into the crazy world of BK’s bizarre brain.
Please be careful in your commenting.