Linus is the undisputed connect-4 champion of the world, is currently in training to become a professional daydreamer and after-dinner listener, and often wears odd socks. He splits his time between Newcastle upon Tyne and the inside of his own head. He has a terrible habit of getting distracted in the middle of doi
Mischief. Mayhem. Hope.
“Excuse me… er… I’m here for the…”
Your tentative request is cut off by the Barman’s curt nod towards a door half off its hinges at the back of the room. You’re running late, of course, and slightly flustered, and so its not until you’re half way down the dank concrete steps that you realise just how fearsome a look the man had given you. Or how empty the bar had been. Or how many of the chairs and tables had been overturned…
You cannot act on the impulse to flee – footsteps on the stairs behindyou indicate the presence of other latecomers, who now block your escape route. Instead, you stumble on into the gloomy cellar, and asyour eyes adjust the shapes of shadowy figures begin to emerge around the edges of the room. You can’t be sure, but it seems like the shapes take care to avoid the pool of light spilling into the centre of the room from the open cellar doors above.
Suddenly, a shadow emerges from the darkness and allows the light togive him form, and the restless shapes grow still at his appearance. His face and shirtless torso are thrown into sharp relief by the shaft of light and you see how lean and strong he appears, but also how many bruises, scrapes and scars he carries on his body. He stares each corner of the room into submission before he finally speaks:
“Welcome to community club”
There’s a pause, as the speaker allows the full implications of these words to sink in, before he spins on his heel and declares to the captivated room:
“The first rule of community, is that you DO talk about community”
A steely stare, then:
“The second rule of community is that you don’t just talk about community”
“Third rule of community. If someone yells ‘stop’, goes limp, starts looking nervously over their shoulder, or makes excuses to leave, the conversation is over”
“Four. No one gets left out”
“Fifth rule. If this is your first time here, you have to make conversation…”
—
Later, as you leave, you’re handed a ‘homework assignment’ in a sealed brown envelope. At home now, and in the safety of your bedroom, you hold the newly unfolded instructions in unsteady hands and read:
Invite a complete stranger to dinner. This may prove more difficult than it seems.
I love how this post is worded. It is written so descriptively! My family have actually invited a complete stranger to dinner once. He moved to Tenerife but my Dad still keeps in contact over email. Dale used to work with my Dad and he really struggled to fit in. I remember my Dad coming home (when I was 8) with this new man and as they say….the rest was history.
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Thanks for your kind words, Rebecca =] I love your stories about how taking the initiative to befriend people has blessed your family =]
I like the second rule of community
I like all the rules of community club!! tee hee hee.
How about inviting 40 to 50 complete strangers to dinner? In Exactly 7 days, now, this will happen in my flat!
Anyone for Haggis?
I LOVE Haggis =] Thats great Paul – what’s the excuse to get them all there? I’m eager to learn your secrets for generating community (and anyone else who wants to make suggestions too)
Mardibum… thanks, yeah, that one is definitely speaking from what i lack. Its easy to just talk about stuff and never actually DO anything. I am trying to learn to be better at being pro-active as i get older (LA, your reply made me grin. Thank you)
Linus, the secret is, be a student! I go to Glasgow University and next week we have around 1300 new students from overseas coming to the city, and Scotland, for possibly the first time EVER! Scary times for them, so next week we are going out and simply making friends. The Haggis night, is our ‘last hurrah’, there should be around 250 of those international students at 5 different flats in Glasgow’s west end!
But if you can find some scared foreign people, in mass numbers, offer them Scottish food and they’ll jump at it!
Alternatively Linus you can just find any group of students and offer them free food.
Haha… that could also work! I’m not thinking beyond this week, but we (GU Christian Union) are doing the same again on Wednesday, just with first years!
Seriously, food builds community! Even just half a sandwich to a homeless man can make a world of difference! It’s nothing to us mostly, but is massive to them! (the students and the homeless)
yeah, there’s a reason why communion is meant to be a mealtime ritual. Food is definitely an important part of community.
Whilst I like all the rules I think I like Rule 3 most. Sometimes I think we forget that it is the things that happen naturally, without being forced, are the best.
Thanks Scott =] well, that one in particular comes pretty much from the (ahem) source material – its almost a direct quote from the film, and i wouldn’t have thought of it on my own. Really it was just in there cos i thought it was funny, but you’re right – i’m sure we can all identify with the sense of being trapped in a conversation, or feeling like people aren’t giving us the space we need to be ourselves in our communities.
Its difficult because part of genuine community is choosing to care about and spend time with people we might not naturally choose to relate to or find easy to talk to. But certainly, community really works where people feel comfortable, and part of that is knowing there’s freedom to leave or withdraw when necessary.