If my godson met Heston Blumenthal…

…I don’t think it would be a good thing.

Here’s why…

On Friday, my friend Ruth was heading to do some promotion for Open Doors at a conference called CLAN Gathering in St Andrews. Since there was no gymnastics on Friday, I thought I’d drive her up and see what CLAN was like. It worked out well, as my friends were meant to be at a lunch for church leaders, but there wasn’t anyone to watch their two wee boys. Enter Auntie Laurie…equipped with baby wipes, blueberries, raspberries and chocolate buttons.*

After doing some races across the field, we sat and ate a bit tub full of blueberries and raspberries. Blueberries are Mr Teapot’s favourite, raspberries are mine. Apparently the blueberries had been much anticipated by Mr Teapot who I’m told spent the morning saying ‘Auntie Laurie!‘ and then ‘Auntie Laurie has blueberries‘. Elastatoddler declares that he doesn’t like chocolate he LOVES chocolate. “I’ve loved chocolate ever since I was 2” he says. “I think you might have liked it since before you were 2″ says Auntie Laurie.

An amusing moment came when my godson (Elastatoddler) picked out a raspberry and declared ‘WOW! This is a huge blueberry!!

No, that’s a raspberry‘ I explained. Pointing out the difference between the two berries.

I then told them about how they are full of something called antioxidants, and they help your body’s germ fighting system to battle nasty germs.**

So you won’t get sick?” asked Elastatoddler.


He paused to think on this.

So do strawberries have them?” he asked


And blueberries?


And blackberries?

Yes. All berries have them. Raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, blackberries”

He looked amazed by this revelation…

And do bumbleberries have them?!

I laughed. “I think you’ve just made that fruit up!” ¬†and we all laughed.

But knowing that my godson is actually a FAN of insects (he and his Mum are not remotely creeped out by spiders and will pick them up in their hands…) I tried to imagine what a bumbleberry would look like. And I can only imagine that it is some kind of fruit-bumblebee hybrid.

Which is slightly disturbing.

And knowing what a smart cookie my godson is, he could well grow up to be some kind of genius that could create such a crazy fruit.

And that, my blog readers is why I don’t think it’s a good idea to introduce Heston Blumenthal to my godson.


*A fair few friends were already there. It was most amusing how many people saw me with the boys and either 1) didn’t recognise me because I was pushing a pram, walked past without saying hello then doubled backed later exclaiming ‘Oh! It IS you!’ or 2) thought that I’d been keeping the fact I had 2 children a secret.
**Yes. As a health scientist, I’m starting the health promotion education early in life. Don’t worry, I fulfilled my spiritual parenting too as we talked about God stuff as well!
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